Ecclesiastes 10:18 AMPC
“Through indolence the rafters of state affairs decay and the roof sinks in, and through idleness of the hands the house leaks”.
There are mistakes and there are mistakes. There are mistakes that can take a lifetime to recover from. Marriage is one place where we make many irrecoverable mistakes; largely because of ignorance. This is often because many people go into marriage with all the ignorance available in the world. There are many also who make mistakes due to pride as well, and the list is endless. There are things that people do which seriously ruins any chance of further marital togetherness. There are mistakes that are just a one-time thing but very difficult to forget and there are mistakes that have gone beyond mistakes but are now a bad habits and evil lifestyles. Here are a few of them.
1. The Mistake of Carless Talking:
Marriage is mostly communication; without which there will be no marriage. How well and how timely you talk determines the longevity of your marriage.
Words are so powerful that they pierce like darts and penetrate like swords. What you say will linger on in the mind of your spouse for a very very long time. Hence, when such a marriage collapses, it is not ruined by what was said today, but by either an accumulation of many terrible things that have been said over time, or by one particular evil word (seed) that has grown into a massive tree. In moments of anger and frustration, many people have been forced to say very unprintable things.
Many men have called their wives names like prostitute, gold digger, good for nothing or even witch.
These words don't just go away from the minds of the women because you claimed you didn't really mean them. The wives brood over these words till they literally become living organisms in them. In fact, in no time, their behaviours begin to change; it goes from bad to worse till there is no more marriage. What happened here is that you broke a law Peter tried to teach us about not dishonouring the wife. 1Peter 3:7
On the other hand, the woman comes under pressure and begins to insult. One major way a woman demonstrates a lack of submission is by her words. When a woman's heart is full and she lets it out through her mouth, the man could die of a heart attack. But in many cases, he would want her out of his life by ending the marriage or may just simply shut her out of his life even while still in the marriage. It is very hard for a man to forgive a verbal insult from his wife; it were better it never happened at all. Michal is a very potent example of this error that didn't just cost her the marriage but her fruitfulness and happiness.
Be quick to hear, but be slow to speak. Understand that the life and death of your marriage is connected to your mouth. Proverbs 18:20-21.
Action Points/Prayer
i. Have a meeting with your spouse and revers all the negative things you may have said to them.
ii. Ask the Lord to forgive you, and ask your spouse for forgiveness too.
iii. Speak powerful words over your spouse today.
Nugget
Your words can either make or mare your marriage; so, choose wisely which you intend to achieve before you speak to your spouse, regardless of how upset you are.
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