In less than two weeks, there have been reports of multiple
homicides against men perpetrated by their wives. Well, it seems those demons
that used to suck blood on our roads during Ember months have creeped into
people's homes. It's November already and no major accident has been reported
in the country. I can imagine how much those blood-sucking demons have been
starving. Our drivers have been too careful, and our men have learnt to master
their rage. So, the women have become their only vessels for "blood
sharing" (in Mama P's voice). Feminism ti take over.
Few years ago, there was a time I had a serious misunderstanding
with my then girlfriend. I really wanted us to settle the problem so I started
the whole reconciliation thing and one of the things I did was buying her a new
phone to replace the one she was using which was faulty. Between that time till
when the relationship finally ended, was about three years, and throughout that
time, I didn't know the password to her phone (the one I bought for her). I'm
using that specific instance because I hear alot of people say things like
"I bought the phone for her/him so I have the right to know what she/he
does with it". I see people use their position as husband, wife,
boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, as an excuse to recklessly invade other people's
privacy; eavesdrop on their partner's conversations, ransack their phones, etc,
looking for only God knows what.
Agreed. As the Almighty partner or the highest stakeholder in
the partnership, you have the right to invade your partner's privacy at will;
but to what end? To prevent him or her from cheating on you, or to get evidence
that he or she is already cheating? You'll always think you're strong enough to
handle anything until your mind plays a fast run on you, and what started as a
mere obsession turns into a serial violence, then murder. It's simple. If
you're tired of a relationship, you do do not need any evidence to quit. And,
if you wish to keep the relationship, then there is absolutely no need to
always search for evidence against your partner. Often times, the only beast
that exists is the one we create in our mind.
I don't know anything about relationship counseling, but in my
little experience, I know that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship
because the thing is a union of two imperfect beings. I strongly advocate that
people should establish personal boundaries in relationships. No matter the
level of surveillance, a partner who wants to cheat will always cheat. You can
either tolerate it, help him or her work on it, or quit. It's like being in a
relationship with a chronic bully. For me, invading another person's privacy is
a right I have never thought, I am not thinking, and will probably, never think
of exercising. That right has too much risks which I prefer not to take. We all
have our shortcomings, so I'll rather spend my time working on myself that
dwell on another person's shortcomings. You cannot be a nag, bully, or a skunk,
and feel you're in anyway better than your partner just because he or she
cheats. But if you've done everything right and it's still not working, then
walk. After all said, cheating is bad.
A relationship is not a ticket to heaven, and in my opinion,
it's not worth taking a life. We can only give our best and pray we get same
On a very serious note, of all the evil in this world and the
many ways to die, the last I'll be worried about is a woman running a knife
through me, whether while I'm asleep or awake. You know why? In the part of the
world where I'm from, we believe in profound vengeance. Such a woman will not
even have the opportunity to be arrested because the mob will kill her in the
most painful way, go to her family and kill every living thing, then go to her
village and burn it to the ground. Just so you know I'm not joking, read this; https://www.vanguardngr.com/…/nightmare-akwa-ibom-one-dead…/
Meanwhile, I hear some women are calling this new madness
"Women's Revolution". As if cheating is peculiar to men. May be we
should tag all forms of violence against women, including rape as revolution.
Nonsense.
Edidiong Udobia writes from Uyo, Akwa Ibom State.
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