By Osondu Ahirika
Anytime a Senate of House Committee of the Legislature the world over, summons any official over whom they exercise oversight, to appear before it, just take it as a given that, they are poised to ridicule the invitee.
Nobody ever comes out of a Senate or House Committee hearing, or more so, the Senate in plenary smiling with glee. Read and see picture after the cut...
The fireworks and exchange is fashioned in such a way that, it prunes the ego and curtails the airs of the one who steps into their coven for questioning. It is the very approximate of the sordid medieval inquisitions.
Make no mistake about it, that was the unscripted intent of the Senate, when last week, they hosted the Customs Comptroller General, Retired Colonel Hameed Ali and the Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, Mr Ibrahim Magu, himself a serving and career Police officer, who appeared for a confirmation hearing.
The Senate had set a determined stage to rein in the obstinate, defiant, disdainful and self-important carriage of the twosome. If there is one flaw noticeable in the key men of President Muhammadu Buhari, it is this deliberate projection of a Lordly, know-it-all swagger, and near self annointment as strong men.
Ideally, Democracy in one of its equally stringent attributes, seeks to subject military and paramilitary forces, under civilian control and authourity.
Ironically, this notion, especially in our clime, is like a noxious fume too hard to inhale and live with, for the average soldier. Truth is, the military, and that includes the airforce and naval ratings casually dismiss the uninitiated as, 'Bloody civilians'.
It is on this abasing classification that military personnel deal mercilessly with any unfortunate victim that falls into their snare. It is not an experience to cherish, if you have an encounter or scuffle with the military boys. The scar will live with you the rest of your days.
So, on this occasion, the Senate decidedly wanted to rub-it-in on the duo of Hameed Ali and Ibrahim Magu, that, their puffed up, imperious but fragile egos will be bruised without remorse.
Hameed Ali in particular, played into the claw hold of the Senate. He was asked to reverse himself on the retroactive policy of asking old vehicle owners to go pay import duties, or whatever charges, or have the cars impounded.
Rather than engage the Senate meaningfully, his bossy and contemptuous side had the better of him. With a cold shoulder and cavalier response, he vowed that the policy had come to stay and rebuffed the Senate motion, which was passed in unanimity. The stage was set for a showdown.
I nurse this ordinarily untenable suspicion that, some of his fellow retired military top brass who are now Senators, invented the simplest weapon to knock him off his high horse. The Senate ordered that, he appear before them in full customs uniform as the Comptroller General.
That may sound like abusing the unbreakable bond of espirit de corp as a true soldier will fight for his fellow soldier and only allow a civilian humiliate a warrior over his dead body.
Just that, in this instance, those retired soldiers are now Senators and may not also allow that institution to be castrated by the arrogance of one overconfident retired army officer.
That demand to appear, bedecked in official uniform, presented a threefold dilemma for the Customs boss who was 'conscripted' from retirement, to head the customs, sidelining serving Customs officers in an unprecedented move by President Buhari.
If he wears the Customs Uniform with the full insignia and rank of Comptroller General, the Senate will hound him with questions of how he rose to the rank, being a colonel. If he wears it without the epaulet of the Comptroller General, the oddity will make him look like a servile clown with no authourity and the Senate will not allow such abnormality escape her drubbing.
Beyond this, no Army Officer will proudly dorn the uniform of these other paramilitary forces, which they deem as lesser or inferior services, without saying so.
It only shows anytime the military have a clash with any of the other uniformed services, and you see how the soldiers will crackdown on such a force, be it the Police, DSS or Civil Defence.
I do recall that, when he led the Federal Road Safety Commission, Major General Haladu Hannaniya rtd did wear the uniform of the Corp Marshal of the FRSC. Perhaps, it was down to the fact that, he was a General and the Corp Marshal rank was an equivalent. It may also have been a matter of personal disposition. Hameed Ali's case presents an altogether different proposition.
At first, he feigned to disregard the Senate summons, leading the Senate to respond to his supercilious meandering by invoking her constitutionally vested powers, directing that, he be arrested and brought before them by the police.
To avoid this, and when Ali appeared before the Senate, he came on mufti and was walked out. Even if the Senate finally resolves this issue with Ali by some other interventions and backs down, they have made their point and given the biggety and snooty posturing of the army officer some public shellacking. It is a score draw.
Looking into Ali's eyes when he sauntered into the Senate, one could discern the scornful visage for the 'brood' of bloody civilians that had conspired to hold court over him.
It was not a funny or delightful hour for the soldier in him. If Ali had his way, he will 'double' the bloody civilian senators and frog-jump them, around the Three Arms Zone. Alas, he was the cornered prey at the mercy of the Senators.
Magu's case isn't too dissimilar. Like Ali, he is cocky without making it obvious and betrays an exerggerated self-opinion, which he fell short of intelligibly expressing when he interfaced with the Senate during his second screening exercise. The Senate, I suspect, consider the operations of the EFCC under his watch, overbearing.
Magu, going by his audacious style of operation was like a genie out of the bottle that must be shut-in.
In his unspoken view, the National Assembly which former President Olusegun Obasanjo alleges is full of corrupt men and drug barons, with many of them under investigation by the agency he leads, hardly deserve the right to preside over and determine his fate. But, the Constitution condemned him to this agonizing test.
He came out of it a second time, traumatized and demolished. Magu will never be the same again, try as hard as he may.
His record stands dented by this rejection and that smarty and vaunting poise of his, has been diminished by the unkind stab of the lawmakers. Little wonder, when he received his Leadership Person of the year 2015 Award on Friday March 17, 2017 alongside Governor's Udom Emmanuel, Bindow and Obiano of Akwa Ibom, Adamawa and Anambra respectively, Magu was crestfallen and downcast.
The 'bloody civilians' in the Senate have made a point. They should not be taken for granted, for they can bark and bite, whenever they chose to. Col. Ali is retired and may not have a chance again to teach these 'chaff men' one bloody lesson on how not to joke with a soldier.
Aha! Chaff men? That recalls to memory when I was in the University. Those who belonged to the 'armed forces wing' of the students community, otherwise known as confraternities(campus cults) were known as, 'brothers', 'frat boys', 'Hard men', Rugged men, Fine boys, or Lords.
Those of us who didn't belong to any of the fraternities, were lumped-up, and dismissively designated as 'Chaff men'. Woe betide you if you fall into the hands of those that hail themselves with salutes of, 'Aro', 'Ahwu' 'Ave' 'Aye' 'Ahoy' or 'Alora'
when they are 'sailing' by any considered infringement or misstep on your path. That is the version these groups borrowed from the Military and we have to live with it, which is still in force as we speak.
President Buhari has a workload on his hands to prune the overweening and presumptuous posing of his hatchet men, if we are not to continue sliding on this part of gainless and unavailing stand-offs.
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